6 things kids do NOT need

excessive care children parents

Parents often focus on what their child needs, whether they are failing to provide something, whether they are deprived, and whether they have done enough. And in this pursuit, it usually happens that they have crossed an important border - that of too much care, deprivation of independence and turning the child into spoiled or deprived of the right to choose. Here are some things that children do not need and that harm their proper upbringing:

1. The most expensive things and toys

Material well-being seems to have become the main driving mechanism in the modern world, and this takes on particularly large proportions when it comes to raising children at an early age. Parents feel they have failed if they haven't bought the most expensive stroller, the best furniture, and filled the nursery with a bunch of unnecessary supplies and toys. Of course, it is important that the child has the necessary things and that they are of good quality and safe, but sometimes this desire gets out of control. Parents work overtime to provide for all of this, and it often happens that they deprive their child of their time and attention, compensating for it with a new Barbie doll or a remote control car. Remember that children need our love and attention above all, and materialism is brought up through materialism.


2. Satisfying every whim

The inability to say "no" seems to be becoming some sort of insidious fad in modern parenting. The pursuit of liberal parenting has caused many parents to confuse healthy love and support with a complete lack of control and the desire to do everything for their child. Thinking that a child is happy when he gets everything he asks for, when he asks for it, parents often make fatal mistakes in upbringing that have lasting negative consequences.


3. Excessive caring

"The child should not suffer", "The child should not get tired", "I will cancel it", "Parents should do everything for their children". You've heard such statements, right? The mother eagle is very much like the one who satisfies every whim, with the difference that her number one mission is to do everything INSTEAD of her child, and this seems to give her special pleasure. In modern society, it is common to see men in their forties still being cared for by their mothers, and this behavior probably started in early childhood. Children do not need us to do everything for them and shower them with care, so they will never learn independence and responsibility.


4. Be always there for them

Believe me, a mother clinging to her child is definitely not beneficial for his upbringing. And the truth is that you can often meet 3-year-old children who have not spent a single evening away from their mother, she panics when she has to leave him in the care of a grandmother, and going to a nursery or kindergarten sounds to her terrifying. The eagle-mother thinks that this is an expression of great affection, and that no one but her could have done it. However, the result is completely different – ​​a child with communication problems and difficulty adapting.


5. The "noble" lie

"A noble lie is permitted for parents." For years, this myth has served as an excuse for parents to lie to their children, from storks carrying babies to buying them a bicycle... but another time. Believe it or not, children are very sensitive to how honest we are with them. And if they feel that we often serve them, they probably won't say anything. They will simply stop believing us, or they themselves will begin to use lies as a means.


6. Excessive criticism

If you think that criticism is an educational tool - you are wrong. Not when it hurts, humiliates and creates a sense of inferiority. For each child, the opinion of the parent about how he did, how he looks, what he can do is leading. His criticism is demotivating. It reinforces his reluctance to participate in anything or else provokes him to do things secretly from you. Yes, the balance between excessive criticism and excessive praise is very difficult and for many - overwhelming. But a balanced, confident and smiling child needs exactly that - to be honest enough with him, but to say things in such a way that he realizes them and understands that we are on his side.


Look more:

Modern Parenting - How We Raise Spoiled Children

"Look what your son is doing" - or how we parent through yelling

Basic principles of Tibetan education

Games that stimulate children's speech and thinking



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