To spank or not to spank - what happens to children raised by violence

fight parent child mother

Who among us has not hit his child? Slaps, jerks with the hand, slaps on the bottom - also count. Probably those who at least once raised their hand to the "unbearable" kid, unfortunately, are the majority.

Any physical impact that causes minimal physical and mental pain or fear of pain - counts!

Anything you cannot afford against an adult stronger than you, you must not afford against a child.

Many parents say:

"They beat me and I grew up a good person. And how do you explain something different to them, when they only understand from slaps? "

Psychologists believe that this attitude is a clear sign of a person with a broken psyche, a person who understands only by compulsions and will apply this method to others because only he knows it.

Here's what goes on in a child's mind when they are spanked:

  1. He quickly forgets what he was punished for.
  2. At that moment, when he is beaten by his mother or father, the people he perceives as the only reliable people in the world, the child remembers nothing.
  3. It feels only that it is being beaten. And you think that he is whispering to himself: "I won't do it like this anymore, I won't do it anymore".
  4. It feels very bad and unloved. Because those who are loved don't beat them, right?
  5. It begins to hate itself and not to love itself. Loses self-respect - how is it possible to respect a person who is being beaten?
  6. It begins to realize that the best way to express its disrespect and lack of love for another person is to hit him.
  7. He will do the same later when he becomes an adult. And someday mom or dad will be in his way.
  8. It begins to realize that the only way to avoid punishment is to please mom and dad. No matter what it does outside of the parental access zone, it's important that it looks like it. So that they don't beat him.
  9. It realizes that mom and dad don't understand it. If they understood him, they wouldn't beat him. And it stops trusting its parents.
  10. The beaten child will never forget this. Maybe he will become a prosperous person? Yes, but forever he will have:
    - mistrust of relatives;
    - low self-esteem;
    – the desire to manipulate others for their own safety.
  11. It's like it's no big deal. We'll get through it somehow. It is important that it is alive and well and that it listens. But listening - this is definitely not the most important quality that a child should have.



Look more:

9 reasons not to overwhelm your child with technology at least until the age of 12

10 phrases that turn children into complex adults

The rejected child and abusive words

Children and the fear of parents


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