I recently came across a statistic that says parents yell and use threats when raising their children at least once a week. In families with children over 7 years old, the frequency of such incidents increases.
Why is this happening?
Of course it happens to every parent to lose his temper and you don't need to panic if you have such moments. There is even a joke that if you yell at your child, then you spend enough time with him. However, if yelling and screaming is the primary communication method between parents and children, this is definitely a problem.
What actually happens to children when we yell at them?
Practice shows that in children who are often yelled at or treated rudely, the risk of developing depressive states and states of irritation, anger and hostility is greater.
Do not forget that constant shouting loses its effectiveness. Yes, we agree that self-control is sometimes a very difficult task, but when it becomes a habit for us, children begin to ignore us or they themselves copy our behavior.
How do we cope?
The most important thing is to realize that the yelling and rudeness hurt children us in a manner comparable to physical violence. Even if we don't manage to control ourselves 100 percent of the time, it's an important step to realize that this type of attitude is wrong.
If you feel like your blood is going to boil at any moment, step away for a while to calm down. Talk to the child only when you are calm. Don't be afraid to apologize if you feel you've crossed the line. If the child is old enough, explain to him what in his behavior throws you off balance and look for a way to avoid similar situations together.
We shall reap what we sow
Remember that we should treat our children as we want them to treat us. There is no way we want the child to be kind, not to show aggression, to be polite, if we ourselves do not give him such an example. Parenting is always based on the principle "Whatever we sow, that is what we will reap". This means that our own attitude towards our child will sooner or later be repeated as a mirror image by our little heirs - they will show it at school, with ourselves, in their intimate relationships, and with their own children one day.