A letter from a teacher about the approach to "difficult" children

difficult children stubborn
Dear parents!

I know you are upset. Every day your child comes home from school with stories about "that" kid. The child who constantly pulls, pushes, pinches and even bites other children. With whom no one can understand, who does not listen to my exhortations and climbs the fence of the schoolyard. Or in a fit of rage he spills his classmate's milk on the floor. On purpose. So that I can see it. Or yelling obscenities in sports class.

You are upset that THIS child is distracting and preventing your child from learning. You are upset that it is taking up a lot of my energy and attention, and because of that I am depriving your child of care and attention. You are worried that he is setting a bad example for your child. I understand all that. And you should know that I worry too. The whole time. For ALL children. I worry about whether your child is holding the pencil correctly, for another - whether he copes with the task, for the third - that he is too shy, for another - that he does not have lunch.

I also worry that Misha's coat is not warm enough, and that Tanya is not coping, for which she is constantly scolded at home.

Whether I'm in the car or in the shower at home, I worry. I know that you absolutely want THIS child's behavior brought up for discussion. I know you don't care if Tanya is doing well because her couples won't break anyone's eye. Yes, I'd like to talk about THAT child too. But there's so much more I can't tell you about.

For example, because just a year ago THIS child was adopted from an orphanage.

And because he is prescribed a strict diet due to an allergy and is always hungry. Nor can I tell you about the fact that a divorce is brewing in his family. Or that THIS child is raised by a single mother and therefore always arrives first and leaves last. Or that he is insulted and cursed at home. You understand that I cannot tell you such details. You just want to know what I am doing to change his behavior. I wish I could tell you everything. But I can not. I can't tell you that he is being dealt with extra because he has delayed speech development and all his aggression is a result of not being able to interact normally with his peers.

I can't tell you that I see his parents EVERY single week and most of the time they just cry at our meetings.

I can't tell you that he and I have a secret signal where I go and sit next to him for a minute and that he often sits on my lap in between classes because... "Lady, it makes me feel better to hear your heart beat …” I can't tell you that after long and hard work, we now have 5 incidents a week, and before it was 5 a day. Or that at teacher councils I beg the other colleagues to turn a blind eye to his next crack. I don't even have the moral right to share the positive moments.

For example, that THIS child helps me water the flowers in the classroom and that he cried when one of the flowers died from the cold during the winter.

Or that in the morning, as his mom rolls out the wheelchair, he kisses his little sister and whispers in her ear, “My sunshine.” I can't tell you that THIS kid knows more about thunderstorms than meteorologists, or that he's patting his bestie on the head a friend in an outburst of feeling and runs to help the one who is crying. Yes, that happens too.

The problem is that I can only talk to you about YOUR child.

And the one thing I can tell you for sure is that if YOUR child (or any other) turns out to be THIS child: I will never tell other parents about what is going on in your family. I will talk to you often, frankly and patiently. I'll stock up on tissues in case you cry at our meetings too. I will bring to your problem those who can really help. I will give your child extra attention and love when they need it. In the school environment, I will be his protector. I will try to see in him (regardless of everything) only the good, the bright and the wonderful. And I will even remind you of these qualities of his.

And when another parent comes to me complaining about your child, I'll just remind them all over again.

With love,
A teacher

(Translation: Gnezdoto.net)

Look more:

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